Me For Singapore Idol?

Two of my friends suggested that I go for Singapore Idol. But I can't sing, I can't dance...how to survive?

"Well, tell them your lame jokes." ~ Ben and Bryan

Now, before I continue on, my friends have a very unique impression of me. They think that I am some guy who tell lame jokes. So lame that "there's no hope for the rest of the world [where] [everyone's] gonna die from a lack of humour" (quoting from Ben). But not all produce the same response. There's this girl from my Junior College who actually find them funny. To the extent that she laughed until she had hiccups. For once, I thought I was that funny. She even dubbed me as some missionary spreading lame jokes. Ouch...

So what would it be like? Would I be Singapore Idol? Or just some lame loser? Telling lame jokes in national television ain't easy. Even more doing it in front of 4 Singapore Idol judges. Well, I can only imagine...

(Warning, the following may be distasteful to some)

(You have been warned)

Judge A: So what are you going to do?
Me: Erm...tell lame jokes...hehe
Judge B: Eh?
Judge C: Well, that's something interesting.
Me: Can I start?
Judge A: Sure.
Me: Okay. What's big and sounds like a mouse?
Judge C: I thought I've heard that one before.
Judge B: I don't know...a big mouse?
Me: Nope :)
Judge A: A genetically engineered mouse?
Me: Wrong.
Judge D: It's a house...so simple, how to answer wrongly?
Me: Hey! You are so right!
Judge A, Judge B, Judge C: D, are you like...ok?
Judge D: There's something fishy about this lamer but I like his jokes.
Judge A: I don't believe this. He doesn't sing but tells lame jokes.
Me: So do I get to be the Singapore...
Judge B: This guy annoys me.
Judge C: Yeah!
Judge D: He does have his talents. Kid, we will give you one more chance. Do you want to sing us a song? I like your style but these guys obviously don't.
Me: I can't sing. So I guess I will just tell another joke.
Judge A: Lame joke you mean.

Me: Ahem. What's this? (Waving my hand in front of them)
Judge A: I am not answering.
Judge C: It's your hand?
Me: Nope.
Judge B: Five fingers?
Judge C: Your hand with five fingers?
Judge A: Why are your talking to him? He's obviously wasting our time.
Judge D: You are good. I give up.
Judge B, Judge C: Yup we too.
Judge A: I was not even playing in the first place.
Me: Ahem...well, it's not "Your hand" but the answer is "My hand"!
Judge A, Judge B, Judge C, Judge D: -_-"
Judge B: Huh?
Judge C: Why is it so?
Judge A: Please go away, I don't want to see you.
Judge D: Seriously, I think you should go for Singapore Lamer.

If you are still reading until here, I hope you won't be offended with this.

This post is dedicated to Ben and Bryan who believed in my lameness and would understand what this post is talking about.

To the rest, I hope that I haven't offended you.

Tags: Friends, Lame Jokes, Singapore