The Perfect Partner (In My Opinion That Is)
1. She must be a true Christian.
Christianity is a very important part in my life. I was born into a Christian family and I plan to have a Christian family of my own.
If she's of a different religion, then there will be awkward times. For example, when I say grace and she just looks at me…it's weird right?
On Sundays, I would go to Church and my partner should go with me also. She should follow me not because she wants to please me but because she believes in Jesus Christ herself.
What do I mean by "true". Simple. She must have the life of Christ in her.
2. She must come from a good family.
How do you define "good"?
"Good" means that she's from a family that has values. Values like respect for elders, discipline, responsible...etc.
I believe this is important as a person is shaped by his/her environment. One such environment is the family. The individual grows up in a family that has certain values. When the individual becomes an adult, some of the family habits and values (be it good or bad) will definitely rub-on to him/her.
If she has bad habits and values then it will be pretty hard getting along with her. For example, maybe she thinks that drinking and clubbing is fine. However, I don't like those activities. Of course to her those activities may not be "bad" but to me it is. With such conflicts it's pretty hard to maintain the relationship.
If she has good habits and values then it's easier for me to get along with her. For example, she feels that no matter how tired one maybe, if you see someone in need you should offer your seat to him/her. To me this is a good value. So it will be easy to get along with her.
3. Both our families must consent to our relationship.
They say that you don't just marry the man/lady but his/his family also. I feel that this is very true. When you marry someone, your in-laws and parents must be able to get along, else there may be some friction in the future.
For example, during Chinese New Year when we visit our extended families, you won't want a situation where there's this uneasiness between you and your in-laws or your spouse and his/her in-laws. It will be good if everyone can just sit around the table and eat happily.
4. She must love me and accept me for who I am.
This I feel is important. I don't want to spend the rest of my life with someone who doesn't love me. It's kinda sad. If there is no love, then there is no point in the relationship.
She must be able to accept me for who I am - both my strengths and weaknesses.
I am not perfect. I am not able to run the full Standard Chartered Marathon nor am I able to write with both my left and right hands simultaneously.
However, I have some strengths that I shall boast off. I am able to multi-task. Let me give an example.
I am able to chat simultaneously with 2 or more people on MSN, do my tutorial, listen to online lectures, compile a simple C++ program, watch Channel News Asia, have my dinner and finally...sit on a chair. Impressive huh?
5. She must be able to communicate with me.
Communication is very important. That's what I learn in HW110 Effective Communication. Actually I knew that before attending HW110.
Anyway, communication is important. If she says something and I don't understand. She’s just talking to herself. How sad that is. If I say something and she doesn't understand then I am talking to myself.
If we don’t understand each other, then we won’t be able to get to know the other person better. If this is the case, how is it possible to commit to the other person?
That’s why communication is important.
6. She must be able to complement me.
Complement according to Dictionary.com is "something that completes or makes perfect".
They say that behind every successful man is a woman. I agree.
She must be able to complement me such that there’s this synergy in the things we do. Sounds kinda abstract. Let me give an example.
Let’s say we need to come up with a video presentation on needy children. Let’s say I am in-charge of the video presentation. If I do it by myself I can only come up with...let’s say a B-standard presentation. However if I do it with her, we are able to come up with an A-standard presentation. In this example, there’s a form of synergy and teamwork between us.
This is important as if we end up getting married, having a family requires a lot of teamwork (between me and her that is) and synergy. One goes to work while the other takes care of the children. If I were to do it by myself alone, I doubt it will be manageable. If she does it herself, I doubt she can manage. However, because we have each other, no matter how hard the situation maybe, I can always look to her for support and vice-versa.
7. She need not come from a rich family.
In some places, there are some guys who marry rich girls. However, I wonder how many of them marry because of love. Sometimes they do it because of the money. Maybe the man comes from a poor family and marries the girl so he could support his parents. I don’t know. It’s just a guess.
Personally, I feel that if she’s rich or poor it doesn’t matter. What’s important is whether she loves me and whether I love her. It’s pointless to have a lot of money but you end up in a cold relationship. It’s pretty sad.
If she comes from a poor family, then it’s fine with me. I can work and support her.
If she comes from a rich family, then I will see if there’s love in the equation or just money. If money is a big factor in the relationship, then it’s pretty hard to continue.
They say that pretty girls have a higher chance of getting married than not-so-pretty girls. That’s what they say.
I know of a married couple. The wife belongs to the latter in the above sentence. However, she has a heart of gold. She’s very supportive of her husband and makes a very good housewife. Is her husband happy? Definitely!
We marry someone not to show him/her to the world but to enjoy our lives with him/her.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. So my perception of beauty may be different than yours. She just needs to be “beautiful” in my sight and I will be happy.
Looking at the list above, I must say that it’s pretty lengthy.
I don’t know if you’ve noticed it, but I used a lot of “must” in the list. Why “must”? Because I believe that marriage is for life so I can’t afford to make a mistake in it. If a girl is not suitable, I rather stay single than suffer. However, if she’s suitable, then when I marry her, I can be assured that I have made the right choice and look forward to a life with her.
Of course one important thing that I must mention is this: I believe that in the right time and in the right place, the Lord will show me who this lady is. On that day, I will be content and happy to meet the person who is able to complete my life.