Steph's Friend

Sunday, May 27, 2007

Replies To Questions

In this week, I was asked two questions by njcian and Anonymous. Didn't have the time to reply until now. I decided to answer these two questions in this post as when I read the questions, I knew my answers are gonna be long...lol. Good? Bad? You decide. Anyway, If I post my long answer in my tagboard, it won't be good as I will be spamming my own board and my answer will take up a large portion of it. As for the question by Anonymous I found it interesting. After reading his/her question, I knew that my answer for his/her (sorry but I don't know if Anonymous is a guy or girl) is gonna be longer. Why? I guess I have more things to say in relationships rather than school stuff...lol.

Onto the two questions. I will answer njcian's first as he/she asked first. Simple.
23 May 07, 8:52 PM
njcian:

well, thx for those wise words. sounds like the seasons thing frm ecclesiastes...i cant believe one would rmb stuff lyk the photocopy rm, tght such memories will fade. as to jc life, it really is so short. and the peoplei met, soo many but so transcient. and all the wrong and right steps. was jc a significant part of your life? aye, why am i posting here, cos some questions just accumulated at this crossroads, to a pt that i need to search for ans, and such ans only a senior senior wil understand. thx.
To njcian:

You are welcome. I won't really say that my words are wise as sometimes I really say stupid things...lol. I won't elaborate on that point.

Ah...so you know Ecclesiastes. Interesting. So I guess you are either a Christian or Protestant or just some person who has read the Bible. True. There's a time for everything. We have heard how "all good things must come to an end" (if you are enjoying yourself) and "look at the light at the end of the tunnel" (if you are suffering). Nevertheless, the message is clear - there's a time for everything.

Lol...I remember the photocopy room which is near the library as there the room is full of this strange smell. I don't know if it's toner or some weird area-of-effect aura from the photocopying auntie. Anyway, I remembered that one of them was pregnant once and I don't think breathing in all those toner dust is really good. You know, now that you mentioned it, I am surprised why did I remember the photocopying room? Others would say the track or the squash court or the school hall, but my answer was the photocopying room...lol...it made me sound like a geek or nerd or someone who breathes in toner dust for a living.

Is JC life really short? Different people have different views to this. I know of some people who dread their JC life that the 2 years (hm...sounds like NS...lol) seemed forever. On the other hand, there are people who loved JC so much that time just seems to fly past. Personally, I felt that it was neither too fast nor too slow. I guess to each his/her own.

Was JC a significant part of my life? Hm...I would say yes. Why? I met very interesting people there. In class, I sat with two other boys in the front row and people would call us "The Three Musketeers". I am not sure whether we were able to fence and save damsels in distress but we sure could talk crap and made people laugh. We said a lot of stupid and lame stuff, but we did enjoy ourselves. Then there was Project Work. I was placed in a group with four other girls. I love the time spent together. No, it's not because I was with four girls but rather, the time spent was fun. We laughed and cracked jokes (okay maybe it was mostly me who cracked but nevertheless, it was memorable). Those were the days.

It's okay njcian, feel free to post more questions, then I will have more things to put in my blog :P (Shucks my eyes are dots and my tongue is shaped like a P...this is bad). Anyway, It's normal to search for answers, for through it, you learn.

Last but not least, study hard and do well for your A Levels :)

Regards,
Steph

(Now for the next question by Anonymous)
25 May 07, 2:37 AM
Anonymous:

wow impressive for a 13 year old ! though the whole aunty part made me laugh so hard ! loL

from reading your blog ... you seem like the traditional kind of guy, am i right ? so i want to know your opinion on something ... if you dont mind ... ?

would you ever be with someone who 'cheated' on their bf to be with you ? and by cheat, i use it VERY broadly e'g even if they didnt do anything with you while they were still with their bf, it still counts if they simply broke up with their bf for you

would you want to be with someone who did that ? and waht are your general thoughts on this issue ? just out of interest =P
To Anonymous:

Yes, the poem is pretty impressive. I couldn't believe it when I read that it was a 13 year old who wrote it. Haha...I am glad you enjoyed the "Rude Aunties" post. I had much fun writing it. You will be surprised as to what certain Singaporean aunties can do...it's just...stunning.

Lol...yes yes you are right. You can say that I am a traditional kind of guy. No, I don't expect my girlfriend to wear a cheong sam every time we go out nor do I dress like my grandparents, but yes I am traditional. Once, I have a friend who commented that I should be born 2 decades ago instead of my actual birth date, I guess he was just trying to say that I am traditional...lol. Now this is interesting that you would want to know my opinion on relationship matters. I am honored. Well, I don't mind, so please go on.

(Remember that my answers may not really be right or wrong. They are just my opinions formed by what I see in life. If you find them logical and true then good, else you can just treat my answers as reading material to kill time...lol.)

Ah...I see. So this is a relationship kind of question. Would I ever be with someone who "cheated" on their boyfriend to be with me? Then it depends on certain factors.

1. What does "cheat" mean?

"Cheat" is a taboo word in a relationship because there should be trust and confidence in the other person. This trust and confidence can be destroyed by cheating. After a "cheat" has occurred, there may be problems in the relationship unless the couple is willing to work through it. Does "cheat' mean stealing pencils from his pencil box? Or does it mean two-timing him? And if a girl is able to cheat a boy, it doesn't really reflect very well on the girl does it? Of course she may have her reasons which I do not know, but still, cheating in a relationship is seen as a very bad thing to do.

2. What made the girl change her mind?

Is her current boyfriend very different from her new one? If no, then why would she break up with him? Okay, we must also be fair to the girl side. Maybe she can't stand the first boyfriend. Maybe he's too protective or doesn't have much time for her...etc, then it won't be a surprise that a breakup would occur sooner or later. I guess if this is the case, then it's okay, but one may ask her why would she go with him in the first place? Maybe she didn't know that her first boyfriend would be like that in the early part of the relationship but changed as the relationship goes on. If that's the case, then you can't blame the girl can you? She didn't expect it to happen. Hence it is very important to really understand the other person before going into a relationship with him/her. This way, it will really save you a lot of trouble.

3. Does she really love me?

If yes, and if there is a future for the relationship, then I guess going ahead may be okay. You will be surprised how strong love can be.

After reading on, I guess the problem is that she is leaving her first boyfriend for you (I maybe wrong yeah, so please don't take it to heart). It's good that there wasn't "anything done" while she is still with her boyfriend. At least the respect for the first boyfriend is still there.

One very big question I would have if I am with a girl who broke up with her boyfriend for me would be this: Would she do the same to me? If she could break up with a boy for me, she could also break up with me for another boy. Personally, this is one big question I would have. Others may have other big questions but for me, this is the one that I would need to think over before deciding.

Of course, it is very hard to find a girl/boy who has never had a boyfriend/girlfriend before getting married with another guy/girl. What I am saying is that when she (reference to your question) broke up with her current boyfriend to be with you, be very sure that her eyes are really opened and that the both of you are able to see a future in the relationship between the both of you.

As they say, "the past is past, but it can still come back and haunt". Nevertheless, if the couple is willing and truly love each other, the past will just be a speck of dust in a journey they are about to travel together on the road called "Life".

So Anonymous, I hope that my long answer (it maybe long, but if it's full of nonsense, then it doesn't really help does it...lol) is able to help you. If you still have questions or doubts, feel free to leave a comment and tag, but try to say something that differentiates you from the other "Anonymous" comments I received, else I won't know which "Anonymous" you are...haha.

In conclusion, all I have to say is think hard and see if you are really serious in this girl and whether she is really serious in you. Her first boyfriend maybe a relationship that didn't turn out the way she had expected. Don't blame her for breaking up because the first boyfriend may have changed a lot during the relationship. If you really see a future for the both of you, accept her for who she is and love her.

Regards,
Steph


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8 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

hrm ... interesting ... you see my main problem is exactly what you mentioned ...

you know what they say ... once a cheater always a cheater so yeah ... i'd have trouble in knowing whether or not they'd do it again and to me this time

i mean, how are you supposed to KNOW they wont do the same to you ? i guess you cant know hey ...

10:51 PM, May 27, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

thx mr steph
what's with e the photocopying room? ure weird. deF an njcianXP
well the thing is u said u had fun in jc, i.e quite the joker lols, and u met interesting ppl there. yes i agree with that. sure met all sorts of ppl in jc, many many kinds, it's like a microsm of the sorta ppl whom u'll eventually meet in the working world...but the thing is...everything is so transient...how many of ur jc friends do u still currently keep in contact with, may i ask. i have met lots of wonderful friends, we had lots of fun n stuff tgt (yup for eg pw grp also) in fact yes jc has been real fun...but next year ill be uni and they will all be but distant memories. friends will go to diff faculties diff countries to study, guys to ns...it's like 2 years of jc and suddenly ure left floundering with this new independence again...which makes me ponder over e meaning of these 2 short (to me la) years.
but ur ans were really interesting. is that how ill be a few years frm now? i duno...and im prob thinking too much, i shld juz go worry abt my As like the rest of my friends=) thx lots, take care
- njcian/junior

2:10 PM, May 29, 2007  
Blogger Steph said...

To 1st Anonymous,

I understand. It's not easy. Personally, I feel that if you are not ready, it's safer not to enter into a relationship. It's safer that way lest you get hurt and hurt the girl also.

Nevertheless, I hope that you'll think hard and make a wise choice that you won't regret later.

God Bless,
Steph

8:54 PM, June 05, 2007  
Blogger Steph said...

To 2nd Anonymous,

Welcome :)

Nothing is wrong with the photocopying room. It's just that I remember it that's all...haha.

Well, take life as it is. No point rushing as you live life once. Personally, I kinda have lost contact with most of them too. They are all nice people, but like you said, things somehow drift.

I guess you can't really control the things that happen to you, but you can control how you respond to these things. I guess all one needs is a healthy dose of optimism.

Thanks. I hope that you found it not only interesting but helpful too.

All the best for your A Levels :)

God Bless,
Steph

8:58 PM, June 05, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

sigh why am i here again? maybe cos its the hols-being away frm sch routine...and just having turned 18...i start thinking abt things again...thinking abt the purpose in studying, thinking abt the future...finding hard to believe i could be in uni next yr...things my friends haven't thought about (yet).

u mentioned "take life as it is. No point rushing as you live life once."
however, i still wonder, if one remains too comfortable and take life at the pace you want it to be, would it mean one would be letting life pass by, and when it is too late, live to regret?

"I guess you can't really control the things that happen to you."
what keeps you optimistic. what keeps you going day after day when the environment is so transient, and changes to 'reality' so rapid?

i guess truth be told, im not ready for this ending. i cant believe ill be saying goodbye to 06s21, the class ive grown so comfortable with. in a few short months, saying goodbye to jc. i duno how the seniors cope.

sorry for bombarding you with these silly questions:) duno why this yr ive been thinking my head off...argh.
God bless too yeaps.

9:41 PM, June 07, 2007  
Blogger Steph said...

Steph to Anonymous,

Well, JC is just a phase of life. It's good to know that you enjoyed your JC life. I think you enjoyed it much more than I did from the sound of it...haha.

1. "however, i still wonder, if one remains too comfortable and take life at the pace you want it to be, would it mean one would be letting life pass by, and when it is too late, live to regret?"

Not really. When you take life as it is, it doesn't necessarily mean that you take it too comfortably. It simply means that you live the day for that day and tomorrow for tomorrow. Of course it will be good to have plans and all, but if things don't go as planned and you've tried your best, then I guess you should be happy no matter the outcome.

2. "what keeps you optimistic. what keeps you going day after day when the environment is so transient, and changes to 'reality' so rapid?
"

Well, I guess it's the fact that Jesus is with me. I don't know if you've heard of songs like "What A Friend We Have In Jesus" and "Because He Lives". These are very good hymns that tell me that no matter what happens in life, I can always rely on the Lord for help. His love for us is simply great (Romans 8:31 - 39). You know the darkest moments in life can never be too dark for His love to shine in your life.

3. "i guess truth be told, im not ready for this ending. i cant believe ill be saying goodbye to 06s21, the class ive grown so comfortable with. in a few short months, saying goodbye to jc. i duno how the seniors cope."

It doesn't sound nice, but the fact is JC is about to end. You are about to enter a new phase in your life - university. One thing you can do is stay in touch and continue to have class gatherings so that the class will still be together. Hopefully this will help you to get over this trouble you are facing.

Silly questions? Haha, if that's the case, then my answers must be silly too...lol. It's okay, so long as someone benefits, I guess it's okay.

There's one thing interesting in your question. I didn't realize you were in S21, because I was in S21 too...lol.

For now, don't think too much. If things were like they used to be, then I guess there will be a common test after the June holidays. So, study hard for promos and the As.

God Bless,
Steph

10:35 PM, June 07, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

...yes...ok. makes sense. "live the day for that day and tomorrow for tomorrow." i guess that's how to get through life huh? all right. i guess i will focus on my task, studying, and finish this phase of my life with no regrets. thank you.

you were in S21? aqua house right? freaky. honoured be be able to meet a direct senior then.

continue to blog, will comment when possible. and... good luck for uni! with this positive attitude, u'll do great=))

10:11 PM, June 09, 2007  
Blogger Steph said...

To Anonymous,

It's nice to know that you finally understand. You are welcome :)

Yes! Lol...Aqua house. The blue killer whale, or is it an orca?

Thanks thanks. You are too kind. I will try to blog if there is anything interesting that happens.

7:54 PM, June 10, 2007  

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