Replies To Questions
In this week, I was asked two questions by njcian and Anonymous. Didn't have the time to reply until now. I decided to answer these two questions in this post as when I read the questions, I knew my answers are gonna be long...lol. Good? Bad? You decide. Anyway, If I post my long answer in my tagboard, it won't be good as I will be spamming my own board and my answer will take up a large portion of it. As for the question by Anonymous I found it interesting. After reading his/her question, I knew that my answer for his/her (sorry but I don't know if Anonymous is a guy or girl) is gonna be longer. Why? I guess I have more things to say in relationships rather than school stuff...lol.
Onto the two questions. I will answer njcian's first as he/she asked first. Simple.
You are welcome. I won't really say that my words are wise as sometimes I really say stupid things...lol. I won't elaborate on that point.
Ah...so you know Ecclesiastes. Interesting. So I guess you are either a Christian or Protestant or just some person who has read the Bible. True. There's a time for everything. We have heard how "all good things must come to an end" (if you are enjoying yourself) and "look at the light at the end of the tunnel" (if you are suffering). Nevertheless, the message is clear - there's a time for everything.
Lol...I remember the photocopy room which is near the library as there the room is full of this strange smell. I don't know if it's toner or some weird area-of-effect aura from the photocopying auntie. Anyway, I remembered that one of them was pregnant once and I don't think breathing in all those toner dust is really good. You know, now that you mentioned it, I am surprised why did I remember the photocopying room? Others would say the track or the squash court or the school hall, but my answer was the photocopying room...lol...it made me sound like a geek or nerd or someone who breathes in toner dust for a living.
Is JC life really short? Different people have different views to this. I know of some people who dread their JC life that the 2 years (hm...sounds like NS...lol) seemed forever. On the other hand, there are people who loved JC so much that time just seems to fly past. Personally, I felt that it was neither too fast nor too slow. I guess to each his/her own.
Was JC a significant part of my life? Hm...I would say yes. Why? I met very interesting people there. In class, I sat with two other boys in the front row and people would call us "The Three Musketeers". I am not sure whether we were able to fence and save damsels in distress but we sure could talk crap and made people laugh. We said a lot of stupid and lame stuff, but we did enjoy ourselves. Then there was Project Work. I was placed in a group with four other girls. I love the time spent together. No, it's not because I was with four girls but rather, the time spent was fun. We laughed and cracked jokes (okay maybe it was mostly me who cracked but nevertheless, it was memorable). Those were the days.
It's okay njcian, feel free to post more questions, then I will have more things to put in my blog :P (Shucks my eyes are dots and my tongue is shaped like a P...this is bad). Anyway, It's normal to search for answers, for through it, you learn.
Last but not least, study hard and do well for your A Levels :)
Regards,
Steph
(Now for the next question by Anonymous)
Yes, the poem is pretty impressive. I couldn't believe it when I read that it was a 13 year old who wrote it. Haha...I am glad you enjoyed the "Rude Aunties" post. I had much fun writing it. You will be surprised as to what certain Singaporean aunties can do...it's just...stunning.
Lol...yes yes you are right. You can say that I am a traditional kind of guy. No, I don't expect my girlfriend to wear a cheong sam every time we go out nor do I dress like my grandparents, but yes I am traditional. Once, I have a friend who commented that I should be born 2 decades ago instead of my actual birth date, I guess he was just trying to say that I am traditional...lol. Now this is interesting that you would want to know my opinion on relationship matters. I am honored. Well, I don't mind, so please go on.
(Remember that my answers may not really be right or wrong. They are just my opinions formed by what I see in life. If you find them logical and true then good, else you can just treat my answers as reading material to kill time...lol.)
Ah...I see. So this is a relationship kind of question. Would I ever be with someone who "cheated" on their boyfriend to be with me? Then it depends on certain factors.
1. What does "cheat" mean?
"Cheat" is a taboo word in a relationship because there should be trust and confidence in the other person. This trust and confidence can be destroyed by cheating. After a "cheat" has occurred, there may be problems in the relationship unless the couple is willing to work through it. Does "cheat' mean stealing pencils from his pencil box? Or does it mean two-timing him? And if a girl is able to cheat a boy, it doesn't really reflect very well on the girl does it? Of course she may have her reasons which I do not know, but still, cheating in a relationship is seen as a very bad thing to do.
2. What made the girl change her mind?
Is her current boyfriend very different from her new one? If no, then why would she break up with him? Okay, we must also be fair to the girl side. Maybe she can't stand the first boyfriend. Maybe he's too protective or doesn't have much time for her...etc, then it won't be a surprise that a breakup would occur sooner or later. I guess if this is the case, then it's okay, but one may ask her why would she go with him in the first place? Maybe she didn't know that her first boyfriend would be like that in the early part of the relationship but changed as the relationship goes on. If that's the case, then you can't blame the girl can you? She didn't expect it to happen. Hence it is very important to really understand the other person before going into a relationship with him/her. This way, it will really save you a lot of trouble.
3. Does she really love me?
If yes, and if there is a future for the relationship, then I guess going ahead may be okay. You will be surprised how strong love can be.
After reading on, I guess the problem is that she is leaving her first boyfriend for you (I maybe wrong yeah, so please don't take it to heart). It's good that there wasn't "anything done" while she is still with her boyfriend. At least the respect for the first boyfriend is still there.
One very big question I would have if I am with a girl who broke up with her boyfriend for me would be this: Would she do the same to me? If she could break up with a boy for me, she could also break up with me for another boy. Personally, this is one big question I would have. Others may have other big questions but for me, this is the one that I would need to think over before deciding.
Of course, it is very hard to find a girl/boy who has never had a boyfriend/girlfriend before getting married with another guy/girl. What I am saying is that when she (reference to your question) broke up with her current boyfriend to be with you, be very sure that her eyes are really opened and that the both of you are able to see a future in the relationship between the both of you.
As they say, "the past is past, but it can still come back and haunt". Nevertheless, if the couple is willing and truly love each other, the past will just be a speck of dust in a journey they are about to travel together on the road called "Life".
So Anonymous, I hope that my long answer (it maybe long, but if it's full of nonsense, then it doesn't really help does it...lol) is able to help you. If you still have questions or doubts, feel free to leave a comment and tag, but try to say something that differentiates you from the other "Anonymous" comments I received, else I won't know which "Anonymous" you are...haha.
In conclusion, all I have to say is think hard and see if you are really serious in this girl and whether she is really serious in you. Her first boyfriend maybe a relationship that didn't turn out the way she had expected. Don't blame her for breaking up because the first boyfriend may have changed a lot during the relationship. If you really see a future for the both of you, accept her for who she is and love her.
Regards,
Steph
Onto the two questions. I will answer njcian's first as he/she asked first. Simple.
23 May 07, 8:52 PMTo njcian:
njcian:
well, thx for those wise words. sounds like the seasons thing frm ecclesiastes...i cant believe one would rmb stuff lyk the photocopy rm, tght such memories will fade. as to jc life, it really is so short. and the peoplei met, soo many but so transcient. and all the wrong and right steps. was jc a significant part of your life? aye, why am i posting here, cos some questions just accumulated at this crossroads, to a pt that i need to search for ans, and such ans only a senior senior wil understand. thx.
You are welcome. I won't really say that my words are wise as sometimes I really say stupid things...lol. I won't elaborate on that point.
Ah...so you know Ecclesiastes. Interesting. So I guess you are either a Christian or Protestant or just some person who has read the Bible. True. There's a time for everything. We have heard how "all good things must come to an end" (if you are enjoying yourself) and "look at the light at the end of the tunnel" (if you are suffering). Nevertheless, the message is clear - there's a time for everything.
Lol...I remember the photocopy room which is near the library as there the room is full of this strange smell. I don't know if it's toner or some weird area-of-effect aura from the photocopying auntie. Anyway, I remembered that one of them was pregnant once and I don't think breathing in all those toner dust is really good. You know, now that you mentioned it, I am surprised why did I remember the photocopying room? Others would say the track or the squash court or the school hall, but my answer was the photocopying room...lol...it made me sound like a geek or nerd or someone who breathes in toner dust for a living.
Is JC life really short? Different people have different views to this. I know of some people who dread their JC life that the 2 years (hm...sounds like NS...lol) seemed forever. On the other hand, there are people who loved JC so much that time just seems to fly past. Personally, I felt that it was neither too fast nor too slow. I guess to each his/her own.
Was JC a significant part of my life? Hm...I would say yes. Why? I met very interesting people there. In class, I sat with two other boys in the front row and people would call us "The Three Musketeers". I am not sure whether we were able to fence and save damsels in distress but we sure could talk crap and made people laugh. We said a lot of stupid and lame stuff, but we did enjoy ourselves. Then there was Project Work. I was placed in a group with four other girls. I love the time spent together. No, it's not because I was with four girls but rather, the time spent was fun. We laughed and cracked jokes (okay maybe it was mostly me who cracked but nevertheless, it was memorable). Those were the days.
It's okay njcian, feel free to post more questions, then I will have more things to put in my blog :P (Shucks my eyes are dots and my tongue is shaped like a P...this is bad). Anyway, It's normal to search for answers, for through it, you learn.
Last but not least, study hard and do well for your A Levels :)
Regards,
Steph
(Now for the next question by Anonymous)
25 May 07, 2:37 AMTo Anonymous:
Anonymous:
wow impressive for a 13 year old ! though the whole aunty part made me laugh so hard ! loL
from reading your blog ... you seem like the traditional kind of guy, am i right ? so i want to know your opinion on something ... if you dont mind ... ?
would you ever be with someone who 'cheated' on their bf to be with you ? and by cheat, i use it VERY broadly e'g even if they didnt do anything with you while they were still with their bf, it still counts if they simply broke up with their bf for you
would you want to be with someone who did that ? and waht are your general thoughts on this issue ? just out of interest =P
Yes, the poem is pretty impressive. I couldn't believe it when I read that it was a 13 year old who wrote it. Haha...I am glad you enjoyed the "Rude Aunties" post. I had much fun writing it. You will be surprised as to what certain Singaporean aunties can do...it's just...stunning.
Lol...yes yes you are right. You can say that I am a traditional kind of guy. No, I don't expect my girlfriend to wear a cheong sam every time we go out nor do I dress like my grandparents, but yes I am traditional. Once, I have a friend who commented that I should be born 2 decades ago instead of my actual birth date, I guess he was just trying to say that I am traditional...lol. Now this is interesting that you would want to know my opinion on relationship matters. I am honored. Well, I don't mind, so please go on.
(Remember that my answers may not really be right or wrong. They are just my opinions formed by what I see in life. If you find them logical and true then good, else you can just treat my answers as reading material to kill time...lol.)
Ah...I see. So this is a relationship kind of question. Would I ever be with someone who "cheated" on their boyfriend to be with me? Then it depends on certain factors.
1. What does "cheat" mean?
"Cheat" is a taboo word in a relationship because there should be trust and confidence in the other person. This trust and confidence can be destroyed by cheating. After a "cheat" has occurred, there may be problems in the relationship unless the couple is willing to work through it. Does "cheat' mean stealing pencils from his pencil box? Or does it mean two-timing him? And if a girl is able to cheat a boy, it doesn't really reflect very well on the girl does it? Of course she may have her reasons which I do not know, but still, cheating in a relationship is seen as a very bad thing to do.
2. What made the girl change her mind?
Is her current boyfriend very different from her new one? If no, then why would she break up with him? Okay, we must also be fair to the girl side. Maybe she can't stand the first boyfriend. Maybe he's too protective or doesn't have much time for her...etc, then it won't be a surprise that a breakup would occur sooner or later. I guess if this is the case, then it's okay, but one may ask her why would she go with him in the first place? Maybe she didn't know that her first boyfriend would be like that in the early part of the relationship but changed as the relationship goes on. If that's the case, then you can't blame the girl can you? She didn't expect it to happen. Hence it is very important to really understand the other person before going into a relationship with him/her. This way, it will really save you a lot of trouble.
3. Does she really love me?
If yes, and if there is a future for the relationship, then I guess going ahead may be okay. You will be surprised how strong love can be.
After reading on, I guess the problem is that she is leaving her first boyfriend for you (I maybe wrong yeah, so please don't take it to heart). It's good that there wasn't "anything done" while she is still with her boyfriend. At least the respect for the first boyfriend is still there.
One very big question I would have if I am with a girl who broke up with her boyfriend for me would be this: Would she do the same to me? If she could break up with a boy for me, she could also break up with me for another boy. Personally, this is one big question I would have. Others may have other big questions but for me, this is the one that I would need to think over before deciding.
Of course, it is very hard to find a girl/boy who has never had a boyfriend/girlfriend before getting married with another guy/girl. What I am saying is that when she (reference to your question) broke up with her current boyfriend to be with you, be very sure that her eyes are really opened and that the both of you are able to see a future in the relationship between the both of you.
As they say, "the past is past, but it can still come back and haunt". Nevertheless, if the couple is willing and truly love each other, the past will just be a speck of dust in a journey they are about to travel together on the road called "Life".
So Anonymous, I hope that my long answer (it maybe long, but if it's full of nonsense, then it doesn't really help does it...lol) is able to help you. If you still have questions or doubts, feel free to leave a comment and tag, but try to say something that differentiates you from the other "Anonymous" comments I received, else I won't know which "Anonymous" you are...haha.
In conclusion, all I have to say is think hard and see if you are really serious in this girl and whether she is really serious in you. Her first boyfriend maybe a relationship that didn't turn out the way she had expected. Don't blame her for breaking up because the first boyfriend may have changed a lot during the relationship. If you really see a future for the both of you, accept her for who she is and love her.
Regards,
Steph
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posted by Steph at 9:17 AM
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